I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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