Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
How many fucks given?
0.12846
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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