Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
