idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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