I'm eating all of the evidence.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
