Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Can you bring me the toilet please
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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