Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
