I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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