Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I will be naked everywhere
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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