i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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