i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
