3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
