What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
