Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
