How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
