who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
