I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
