i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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