i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
