you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize