i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
