Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
