You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
