I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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