may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
