I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
