Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
