Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My nipple is on Facebook.
i barfeds in our rink
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
