its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
