I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
