At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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