Im at strip club and am horny
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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