and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
