I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
