I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
