Is it normal to miss your booty call?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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