Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You're a waste of cheezeits
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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