There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
