its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
