Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
