i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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