The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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