why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
