if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
