I bet he comes in French.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
