I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
PANTIES FOUND
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