I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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