A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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