my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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