I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
