This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
