I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
