mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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