Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
