Your dad touched me again.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
