Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
