I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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