just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We named our party play list daddy issues
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
