wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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