We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
