Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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