is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
