so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
