Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
There's always time for handjobs
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
