Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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