dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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