dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
