That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
i need some magic done to my vagina
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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