Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
