**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
